With every parent there is a time when you need a break from your children. Maybe a date night, an adult getaway, an overnight sleepover that means as much to you as it does for your children. But to parents with special needs children, a get away is few and far between.
In the past eighteen months, I have had one overnight without my daughter. The time before that was March of last year when I begged for a weekend off because I was going to be out of town. Sometimes I feel selfish for saying this but, having some time away from my daughter longer than a few hours is needed to keep my sanity. Her mother isn't in the picture and as friends go, she has no one outside of school that she truly spends time with and she has had only one sleepover. My personal /romantic life has suffered, my patience has begun to slip and as cruel as it may sound, I'm beginning to resent her. If she were an average sixteen year old there would be far less issues and a lot less of a hassle in getting away.
My options are family, a few friends and the local Regional Center, which offers respite care for up to 24 hours. The respite care I've never used, friends are great for a few hours and my family makes it more of a bourdon to even ask them. The fact is, I might be able to do this each day, every day, on my own, but my parents can't handle her in the long term. And the times they watch her for the day, I was told after that I use them too often. This sadly is a "Catch 22" because when I ask friends to watch her for the same time I am again guilt tripped for keeping them away from their granddaughter. For the time being, I doubt I will have a 24 hour period from parenting until they move away, which isn't happening any time soon.
All I want is a weekend. Two nights free to do as I please. Maybe go backpacking, or a trip to Vegas or San Francisco. I don't want to resent her because I feel trapped. Michelle's major health issues are under control. Although mentally she can't she care of herself, she's not a difficult child to deal with and is often compared to other, regularly developed children as well behaved. It shouldn't be as big of an issue as it seems.
But because she's different, most people including friends and family are afraid to deal with her. And that's another story all together.
